National Geographic Pictures
Equivocation
I have been at this for a week and it has already transcended almost any professional experience I’ve ever had. For a lot of reason, both professional and personal. This is a culmination for me. A whole long series of events and people and ideas and themes coming together in one rehearsal room in Westwood where I get to go everyday and do the kind of work I always dreamed I would be able to do. I don’t want to say much about the play or the world because I really and truly just want everyone and anyone to come see this. Pride has never been an easy thing for me to wrap my head around due to its proximity to ego and, then inevitably, shame. But I am proud of this play, even now, in my bare feet, writing to you from the lobby, having only built the bones of one act, I am proud of this play. I am proud of the the long line of things that got me here. I am proud of the group of people who are already working their hearts and souls into this thing. I am proud that Bill Cain is seeing this play find audiences in oregon, here and then new york. I am proud that I am only 95% terrified of being shirtless for most of the play. I am proud that my grandmother will get to see me on stage. And I am proud that I’m being called back into rehearsal, barefoot and smiling . . . .
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Dear NBC
Dear NBC,
Really?
You won’t hire me because I am a Canadian? In this day and age? With how far we have come we really still have that much further to go? You will program to us, use our fine canadian lumber to print scripts and schedules and take our precious canadian ad dollars but you will not let me work on 30 Rock? Do you know how long it takes to get to a place where you are realistically in the last handful of people up for a great part on a great show? It’s not just talent, NBC. It’s about confidence and calmness. Its about focus. Determination. Weekly therapy. Thinking long and hard about diet as it pertains to health and levels of energy and efficiency throughout what actors refer to as “our instrument”. It takes some of us years to work up to that point where we are told that “Tina would like to see you” and when that time comes you are ready or you aren’t. And I feel ready, NBC. I would have flown back to New York on my own dime to show you how serious I was about booking this job. Hell, had you pressed hard enough I would have paid whatever absurd fee might be associated with employing someone with an 01 visa in this country. NBC, a job like this could a mean a lot. And it will for some other fortunate actor now and I wish whoever he is well. He deserves only good things. But can you really afford to be so bigoted? So patriotic that you would so quickly keep me from coming on to team peacock? ABC, CBS, Lifetime, FX, FOX – they had no problem with me? But you think you’re better because you’re pickier? Or that the fact that you have the coolest posters or Peter Berg’s new cool looking show about gorgeous paramedics makes you better than me? Maybe it does. But I’m still a person. I’m just an actor trying to make my way in this world. And today was a tough one. Because Tina wants to see me and and I want to see Tina and you are keeping us apart. I love you NBC. But I hate you NBC.
I should go. This is getting too hard. Don’t call . . . I’m not ready.
Sincerely,
Patrick
Phish
So truth be told I only ever went to one Phish show with my friend Jay Shuster many moons ago in Rochester New York. Jay had been to about 1000 shows at that point and had every one of them on cds, catalogued, and ready to be relived at a moments notice . . . which I did with him almost every weekend. So i felt like I knew them well. And then Bush, and wars, and things happened and Phish sort of split and I checked back in every once and awhile.
So I don’t know what fans think of the new album, Joy, and it may be a big let down for them. I haven’t checked up on Pitchfork or any other number of online music publications in awhile. But I did listen to the album and it took me right back to the beautiful Rochester night where I danced my face off for about four hours while sharing any number of beverages and substances and dank stadium air with thousands of other loyal fans. I think this is my favorite track. Today I wear my flip flops and don’t shower and dance once more.
RAGE
A little over a year ago now I shot my part in this film during one day in New York in a tiny little studio in the northern most parts of Spanish Harlem. None of the cast met each other until some of made the pilgrimage to Berlin for the films premiere (go to the Germany section of my photo page for some shots). It’s a real honor to be on screen with so much mind bending talent and it was a really proud moment for me to see myself on that screen with those people and think that this little idea I had of becoming an actor isn’t always just rejection and disappointment. There are moments that take you by surprise and encourage you to keep walking in the direction you’re going. Check out the trailer above and then click here to see the site that was just posted. Its a really interesting multi cinema – multi platform release that suits the story of the film so perfectly that I think it will really heighten peoples reaction to the film to watch it on their cell phones and computers. It’s really what Sally intended and I can’t wait to see how people respond. I run up to New York on the 20th to open the film there with a few other cast members, including Mr.Law, so I will hopefully have some photos and thoughts when I get back.
Full Fledged Grown Up Adult
I have pretty much listened to this song once a week since I moved to Los Angeles but on the day of my 28th birthday I feel like I’m right there where Loudon was when he wrote this.
20 years ago I would stay awake all night in anticipation of birthdays. I would lay there and premptively tear open gifts in the dark of my room. I would entertain all of my fantasies of having a day that belonged to me and whisper the words “It’s my day” . . my birthday . . I would lord it over the world as though no other human being was born on August 27th. Then the years tick by and I find myself sleeping very soundly until my eyes open up to the beginning of a 29th year. Shower, coffee, cereal, HBO catchup . . . a quiet but confident beginning.
I will let my dads words do the work here. He sent an email this morning:
“After a lifetime of saying happy birthday to children, friends, and strangers, the words take on a different tone. What they really mean, at least where our loved ones are concerned, is “I am so happy that you are on this earth” and in the case of children, there is that loving added subtext of “And I am so delighted that I had something to do with that fact.” And so what we are celebrating over and over again is august 27, 1981, a very very good and propitious day because it was a convergence of a great number of things that produced the possibility and the actuality of you. . . . Birthdays should NOT be a day when we ponder the relentless and unstoppable tick-tick-tocking of time; what they should be is a celebration of the happy accident that is us.”
Thank you dad and thank you world for putting up with me thus far. I look forward to all the other trouble we can get ourselves in together.
The Cove
It’s a little late for this, but a couple of weeks ago I saw this movie and it really took my breath away. I really believe that documentary films have hit their Golden Age and this one is at the top of the list. It was timed to come out so that the annual dolphin slaughter in September might get some more global attention this year. I haven’t spoken to anyone who’s seen it that hasn’t felt two things 1. That human beings seem hopelessly bent on savagely destroying everything in the world for profit. and 2. that they must do something to get the word about this insane practice that the Japanese government and whaling commission are trying to keep silent. Please check it out and tell other people to check it out.
32 Days of Jasper
A story told in Polaroids.
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McDeath
If you ever needed any more reason to stay as far away as possible from your nearest McDonald’s, then this is that reason. A woman was crushed to death in a southern California food processing plant for the company. Click above for the link. Man, when you really start wondering where your food is coming from and start asking questions you come up with some really scary stories. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, and human flesh on a sesame seed bun. No thanks.
Solar Eclipse
Earlier today the longest solar eclipse of the century was visible to the whole other side of the world. We may not have had front row seats but a lot of excellent photographers did. Click above to link to some really beautiful pictures of a galactic event that plunges cities into darkness in the middle of the day. For those of us on this side of the world you can’t make travel plans that coincide with the lunar and solar orbits we will have to wait until August 21, 2017 to get a look at one. So be patient.